Menagerie When nature calls (loudly): DLSU Bathrooms 2 Try
Menagerie When nature calls (loudly): DLSU Bathrooms 2 Try
When nature calls (loudly): DLSU Bathrooms 2 Try

University life can be clogged with a plethora of problems. Among the many deadlines and papers, sometimes nature calls in the middle of campus. Far from the familiarity of your own toilet, you flounder and try not to squat as the ticking time bomb in your stomach churns by the minute.

Though a home away from home is often hard to find, fear not as The LaSallian has your back—and bottom. So, without further ado, here is is a list of the top havens to run to whenever you find yourself carrying a load that’s too much to handle.

 

St. Miguel “The King” Hall

No introduction is needed for the second placer in the first Golden Kubeta Awards. To take part in the contest, one had to take a photo of what they thought was the best bathroom in the University and post it on social media. As a result of this, the first floor bathrooms of St. Miguel Hall has received a reputation for being luxurious—for good reason.

The words “air conditioning” and “Wi-Fi” are more than enough to win anyone over. This is why the bathrooms of St. Miguel Hall stand as safe spaces  for those looking for a haven from the ruthless grind of a quality education. Here, one is able to release everything they’ve been holding inside without fear.

Timing is key when it comes to this safe zone, however. A lot of students pass through the halls of St. Miguel, so it takes experience on the exact timeframe to avoid using the bathrooms here. But once the art of time is mastered, calculating the perfect window to have a completely covert meeting with the mayor should be a piece of cake.

 

Henry Sy Sr. “Green Thumb” Library

The Henry Sy Sr. Library provides the Lasallian community with an extensive collection of academic resources. It also has an extensive collection of wonderful washrooms. Not only does each bathroom stall have a comfortable toilet seat and a competent bidet, but it also has a relaxing wave of cool air emanating from the different floors of the library.

The perfectly dimmed lights also contribute to the overwhelming sense of peace as you put an end to the war in your rectum. Though the sight of a roll of tissue comes once every blue moon, the Henry bathrooms remain one of the best in the University. The trick to this building, though, is that the higher you go, the better it is as the traffic of students diminishes. To Nido Go (II, AB-ISJ), the Henry bathrooms are an extension of her home in Japan. “I never thought I’d feel so at-home here. It’s rare to have such a deep connection to a place like this.”

 

WATERMARK BestPlacesToPoop_Ella Avila_Colored

 

St. La Salle “OG” Hall

Despite being the first building constructed in  campus, St. La Salle Hall is home to some of the finest bathrooms in campus. “The LS bathrooms may be old, but they’re still where I choose to ‘go,’” Keri Lang (III, BS-PSY) says. “I see no reason to discriminate just because of age—just like with people.”

Though not all the bathrooms in St. La Salle Hall are modern-looking, there are quite a few—which would be fun to hunt for—that look nothing like a 100-year-old bathroom. The green tiles with their reflective sheen welcome you to the toilet, accompanied by a bidet much newer than the historic building.

A unique property of the bathrooms here is the not-so-good acoustics, which provide visitors to the stalls with a form of entertainment: the echoes of gossip. Every once in a while, it’s intriguing to sit quietly and listen to Jepoy and Leroy talk smack about Jhepoy because Jhepoy is going out with Japoy—get lucky, and you might just get an update if you’re in that same stall at the same time next week.

 

Br. Andrew Gonzalez “Big Boi” Building

The tallest academic building in the Philippines, the Br. Andrew Gonzalez FSC Hall is a notable work of art. Though its elevators are infamous for causing dreadfully long lines, its bathrooms have a different reputation.

Some sport a modern look, others look outdated with a distasteful lack of bidets. The variety makes the building more dynamic and exciting. Upon further investigation, we have found information valuable to the Lasallian community—the eighth, 10th, and 12th floor bathrooms have bidets. (You’re welcome.)

Another unique feature are the designated sets of bathrooms exclusively for faculty members. These lavatories, which forbid students from entering, remain a mystery yet to be explored by the non-faculty population of the University. Jebs Motabo (III, BSED-CHY) reveals his discomfort with the comfort rooms, “That’s really my only motivation to become a teacher. Years of studying in Andrew have brought me nothing but torture in the form of tissues and wet wipes. But fear not—the Truth is near.”

 

Take your pick, have a seat

All toilets, like many of the top-notch facilities of the University, were made to lessen the toil on students. Though no toilet is perfect, each is a symbol of a communal experience—one in which tissue, alcohol, and bacteria are shared among Lasallians. Bathrooms are places where people come together, despite differences, in order to share personal experiences and embrace the humanity that is embodied whenever we make the decision to answer to nature’s call.

 

*Reports from Blair Clemente