Menagerie Rant & Rave: Passéism
Menagerie Rant & Rave: Passéism
Rant & Rave: Passéism
April 20, 2013
April 20, 2013

FAD: Rating? What Rating!?


Passé, according to Wikipedia, is an adjective that describes things which are out of style or old fashioned (because listening to your teachers is so passé, Wikipedia is thus more reliable than a dictionary. Heck, the entire academe is passé).

A great example is contemporary world ideals. There have been movements toward world peace, education, love, and friendship. All of this, however, is passé.

For the ignorant (knowledge is passé, you’re doing it right!), Passéism is an offshoot of post-modernism that sees the unimportance in things that are actually important. Things are too important that they have actually become unimportant, a complete waste of time!

Eating for survival? That is so passé. Sleeping? Possibly passé. Going to school? Doubly passé. Rioting against tuition increases when education is supposed to be for free? As passé as it can get. In fact, nothing is more passé than activism. Nothing except reading, maybe (you’re doing it wrong by reading this).

See, the more important something can seem, the more passé it actually is.

All your effort you’re putting in that girl you’re trying to date? A waste of time. Dating is so passé. Why even try? Love is passé. Your time and money would be better spent on eating. Eating may be passé, but overeating isn’t. Neither is oversleeping.

Those sleepless nights for a group project? Wing it. Copy-paste it. Sure, you could get kicked out. But school is so important, your education is so important, that it must be unimportant.  And think about all that sleep lost. The risk is definitely worth it for those few extra hours of shut-eye.


Why it no longer works

A good number of my friends cared about things that were important. I’ve seen my friends put their blood and sweat into things that could help change the world. And a lot of them could very well succeed. Point is, there are a lot of people out there making the world a better place, so why even try? You’re just a regular college student; you couldn’t possibly do anything to change the world. That’s why it’s better not to even think about it.

Besides, the world has already changed. If we change it too much, the world’s going to spin so fast that it’ll explode. Too much change is bad. The world is already a great place. I mean, we made Disney Land, the happiest place on Earth. How can a place with Disney Land possibly need changing? If there’s anything we need to focus on, it’s saving enough money to go to Disney land a bajillion times.

Yes, why strive for anything better when we can lounge around all day in Disney land? If anything, we need to stop these activists from trying to change the world. Unless they plan on making more Disney Lands, that is.


Imaginary demons

Poverty, war, and human rights are all problems of the past. The United States has that handled. The CIA, to be specific. What else could they be doing in Area 51? Anyone who knows anything about the world will tell you that everything is as it should be.

There are no imperative issues in the world at all. All the news you hear is government propaganda, vain attempts at closing Disney Land.

The biggest problem with caring is that we couldn’t just sit on the couch all day, watching television. Instead, we’d all be obligated by our innate sense of good to do something, to cleanse the world of all its blights. And that’s way too much of a hassle.

It’d be much more convenient to lie down and dream about Disney land. The only hassle aspect of passéism? The never-ending lines it’d probably cause.