Apparently, the universe decided to conspire against me today. After failing my calculus exam, I discovered that those awesome pair of boot-cut jeans I bought yesterday at the bazaar didn’t, uh, quite fit me the way I wanted to.
Thus, from now on, I solemnly vow to start my “all water, no food” diet. If anything else, there is no room for twenty pounds in my body – not now, not ever. Fat is out, slim is in – and so, I heretofore declare my VIP insta-access pass into the Dieters’ Club. No more triple-decker cheeseburgers and late-night chocolate binges. No more shame-eating at McDonald’s and Taco Bell. I’m through with it all.
It seems like such a waste to throw out those custard-filled doughnuts though…
March 6, 2013
Ha! It has been almost a week now, and I’m feeling like I own the world already. This diet has been the best thing to ever happen to me. I can feel those sagging pounds slipping off of me. Those drama queens at school and their crazy antics… I am not even an inch closer to fainting and I never will.
Something tells me I’m going to send those body pounds packing home soon with nothing but a cardboard box full of those meagre possessions they once boasted of: cheeseburgers and onion rings, take-out menus and pizza coupons, and that medal for winning the annual Thanksgiving pie-eating contest.
Beaches, you better watch out!
March 10, 2013
Mom brought home my favourite beef burger from the local joint. The scent hit me full like ten cows running into me. Believe it or not, it took all my sheer willpower to run straight to my room and lock the door before I think twice about inhaling the whole thing in one breath.
Never cried so hard. It will be all worth it, though. I hope.
March 12, 2013
Hunger pangs throughout school the whole day. As per my routine last week, I skipped lunch and took a nap in the library. Well, it was unintentional, I fainted.
I wish Dylan and the gang would stop peppering me with their questions about my ditching them during lunch break. It is becoming bothersome.
March 14, 2013
Apparently, the diet has been working out fine and I’m beginning to shed some weight. Michael at Art class said so. Obviously, he loves me now.
The bad news is that I’m starting to feel a tad bit weak and dizzy. Two minutes of jogging at Phys Ed left me shaking and breathless. Nothing I can’t handle though.
March 19, 2013
I’m starting to feel like a mess. Not nibbling on anything is starting to take its toll on me, physically and intellectually. I may be losing 10 pounds already but day by day, I’ve been getting weaker and weaker. I have been looking pale as it is; thus, necessitating the use of my mom’s facial mask and a flesh-colored crayon. It seems to be doing the job well.
I can’t seem to concentrate on my studies now as I am constantly having migraines. Those little textbook prints are doing somersaults in my brain – seemingly dancing the Gangnam Style and the Harlem Shake whenever I browse through my notes. I’ve been hanging by a thread when it comes to my academics. Doesn’t matter. All for beauty.
11 suns left, anyway.
March 22, 2013
If nothing else, at least there’s music to keep my mind away from my gnawing stomach.
(Sung to the tune of Tik Tok by Ke$ha)
“I woke up in Morning feeling really hungry.
I realize I’m on my diet and I’m not feeling giddy.
I already miss lean, tender meat with a bowl of rice.
But I need to diet so that I can save my life.
We are talking about just water, no veggies, fruits or any other.
I need to keep it together.
It’s a great day, there’s a way, to keep those urges at bay.
A great day; I can make this a good day.
And I’m like ouch, ouch, my gut!
Ouch, ouch, my gut!”
At the end of the day, I know I can still count on my music-writing skills.
March 26, 2013
Twenty-five days have passed since I started on my quest. Now, I feel like a survivor displaced after a tsunami. Coincidentally, I can imagine the interior of my stomach looking like a tsunami has hit it – swirling with water, flooding all of the grisly bits of sustenance and nutrients away, and washing away all colour until everything that remains of me is a mass of greyish hollowness, of beauty.
I absolutely cannot stand the taste of water anymore. Yes, something as bland and passive as water has taste now. Drinking it for 21 days straight gives one a keen sense on which brand of bottled water tastes the best, though, obviously, a certain similarity stands – I’ve spewed out more water than a garden hose.
I fear that I will drown one of these days from too much intake of water. In that case, someone ought to remind the maid to feed the hamster every day.
April 2, 2013
Surprising turn of events – and quite an unfortunate one at that. Did I ever mention how fainting is unlikely when committing to a diet? I take it all back.
If fainting were an art, I have yet to master it. Apparently, I lost all hold of myself at school today – at lunch break, that is, and made a huge mess of myself by landing in somebody’s spilled ketchup on the floor. Everybody freaked out but nothing can compare to Mom’s loud-mouthed shrieking. After two days of hospital confinement (which was NOT FUN at all), I am now free to resume my old ways. They made me eat. So I caved.
And, no, NO MORE DIETS for me. In hindsight, being a skinny bag of bones cannot be that appealing anyway. Outside beauty doesn’t matter… when you have makeup. ☺