Menagerie Coldplay’s hot secret: A concert in DLSU
Menagerie Coldplay’s hot secret: A concert in DLSU
Coldplay’s hot secret: A concert in DLSU
March 31, 2017
March 31, 2017

While most people complained about how expensive Coldplay concert tickets were, Lasallians had the special privilege of the famous band holding a secret concert right in the University grounds, specifically at the Henry Sy Sr. Hall. The concert was a more low key, intimate affair, the raucous party atmosphere of the actual concert a distant memory. The dimly lit venue was more akin to your local jazz bar than to a sold-out arena.

Tickets were sold by the University at the price of P10,000 for students, faculty, and alumni. Compared to the actual concert tickets, this was a real steal for those who were made aware of the announcement that Coldplay would be performing in the University. You might be asking yourself why news of this magnitude escaped your attention.

It turns out that the University really did intend for the announcement to be discreet. The Office of the President only let it be known to some alumni and well-connected students and faculty, giving them free tickets in exchange for their absolute silence on the event.

Furthermore, the University sent letters of invitation to people selected by the University President himself, thus completely limiting the announcement. Those in the know were compelled to control their social media behavior: any post made regarding an upcoming Coldplay concert in DLSU would result in a call from the Office of the President requesting a personal visit. The ticket holder would then walk out of the Office remembering nothing, and wondering what he or she could possibly be doing loitering around the 14th floor of Henry Sy Building. Consequently, his or her social media posts regarding the Coldplay concert in the University would be mysteriously deleted. Black suited gentlemen were spotted leaving the office moments later. Perhaps DLSU’s new security detail?

How did the University manage to hire one of the world’s most famous bands, and at a price too good to be true?

“An alumni had a connection to the band’s manager,” explains Ms. Gamboa*, assistant to the University President. “So Chris Martin himself came and signed a deal with the President.” The University and the band agreed to give majority of the proceeds to charity.


Coldplay Concert - Ulric De Guzman


Coldplay’s public relations representative explained that the band was fundraising for stranded aliens, people who had to flee conflict in their home planets. The President confirmed that DLSU’s portion of the profits will be going to the same charity since this group has helped many members of the DLSU student body and staff make a home here.  

The concert lasted for the whole night, and was not known until now thanks to the guards’ vigilance. “‘Pag may lumalapit at nagtatanong, may nilalabas kaming aparatong parang flashlight (If someone came over and asked, we’d pull out a device that looked like a flashlight),” recalls Kuya Pablo*, one of the guards stationed at the Henry Sy Building.

Pinahiram sa amin ng University President. Tawag niya sa mga iyan de-neuralyzer daw. (The University President lent them to us. He called them de-neuralyzers).” According to Kuya Pablo, the de-neuralyzer has a button that emits a very bright flash of light, causing the person directly exposed to it to forget anything that he or she may be asking about, and just return to wherever they came from.

Furthermore, other attendees also confirmed that the University President was able to maintain the secrecy of the concert because he himself had a de-neuralyzer, and with it was able to convince those who had broken their silence that no such event was happening.

Overall, management was satisfied with the event and even displayed interest in holding further such events in DLSU in the future. An ambassador from the charitable organization that helped organize the event, who as it turns out was an alien himself and as a child had to seek asylum when his planet was destroyed, expressed joy in the wake of the concert. He said that it was heart-warming to watch “the citizens of Earth making music for our cause.”

So if you find yourself having random flashes of memories that seem like deja vu, especially when hanging around the Henry Sy grounds, you may have been one of those who had broken their silence on the secret Coldplay concert. The de-neuralyzer, after all, doesn’t guarantee 100 percent that one’s memories would be completely wiped. Then again, everyone experiences deja vu every now and then so who’s to say?

It simply shows that the University is more than capable of keeping such massive secrets. Strangely enough, DLSU’s new cadre of dark-suited security guards are nowhere to be seen since the concert. There is speculation that said security guards may be from an elite secret organization, which the University only calls for big, important jobs such as this.

If that’s the case, then there’s actually a lot more secrets in the University than we all initially thought.