Archives Unearthing the truth: Is Sen. Bato dela Rosa a rock?
Archives Unearthing the truth: Is Sen. Bato dela Rosa a rock?
Unearthing the truth: Is Sen. Bato dela Rosa a rock?
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April 1, 2020
Tags: , ,
April 1, 2020

For every answer that Science reveals, there is always another question that emerges, begging to be answered and holding the potential to change the world. Last July 2018, reliable news source The Daily Squat released an article that finally revealed the answer to a perpetual question that has puzzled geologists for years: Is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson a rock? The article revealed that despite numerous theories raised, the former WWE Superstar and actor still refused to reveal whether he is an igneous, sedimentary, or metamorphic rock. Further, the superstar personally stated that he does not identify as an actual rock.

The revelation played a crucial role for geologists in the Philippines who conducted their own research on the country’s own suspected rock personality: former Philippine National Police Chief and now Senator Ronald “Bato” dela Rosa. As of writing, local geologists from the Terrain Investigators and Geologists’ Association for Science (TIGAS) are confident with their findings, which finally provide answers to the question of what type of rock dela Rosa identifies as, and if he is, indeed, a rock. 




Digging for clues

Bato has been silent on the issue and refuses to entertain any rock-related inquiry despite numerous efforts by geologists. Regardless, professionals are intrigued as to what rock classification he falls under. The discussion on his classification has generated polarizing opinions from numerous experts and hobbyists alike in the field of Geology—specifically from TIGAS. “It’s an extremely basic question in Geology, but for some reason, [Bato] refuses to answer it,” shares Rocky Gamboa, an amateur rock collector from TIGAS who is frustrated with the Senator’s hardheadedness.

However, he is suspected to be metamorphic primarily due to his recent meltdowns under intense heat and pressure from the media and other parties—continually shaping and influencing his rock-related characteristics, experts claim. Geologists further note that Bato exhibited qualities that are linked to the same form of metamorphosis that metamorphic rocks undergo during his breakdown last 2017. Dela Rosa, who was acting police chief at the time, publicly shed tears for the second time while facing the Senate Committee on Public Order due to allegations of state-sanctioned extrajudicial killings.

In contrast, a different school of thought claims that he is in fact an igneous rock. This is backed up by the police chief-turned-neophyte Senator’s intense, magma-hot remarks at Raoul Manuel, President of the National Union of Students of the Philippines. Manuel challenged dela Rosa’s stance on the possible release of rape-murder convict Antonio Sanchez during a Senate hearing on mandatory military training in schools last August 2019. 


The curious case of dela Rosa

Contrary to how rocks behave, however, dela Rosa is considered a unique case among his craggy peers. Though unconfirmed, he is presumably the very first rock who has had a heated exchange with a student in a Senate hearing. Furthermore, it has been verified that dela Rosa is in fact the first ever rock who has acquired a United States (US) visa. He also remains the sole rock whose US visa has been revoked by the US government in its bid to crack down on presumed human rights violators, presenting another challenge in continuous efforts to harmoniously reconcile humanity and nature. 

Despite the mountainous negativity associated with these series of events, geologists cannot help but become more curious with regard to Bato’s peerless capabilities as a rock. “Alongside The Rock, [dela Rosa] continues to stand head and shoulders above any mineral matter we’ve studied and observed in the past few hundred years, perhaps even millenia—it’s simply amazing, although antagonistic,” shares Dr. Pebbles Sadagat, a TIGAS geologist. 


Cracking down answers

Several studies and observations presented by the researchers at TIGAS have sparked debate among professional geologists and rock enthusiasts alike. While many believe that the claims of dela Rosa being a rock is true, others claim that the rock-like characteristics that he has exhibited are mere coincidences—emphasizing that he is a human being and his name holds no bearing. The opposing arguments, Gamboa asserts, do not “hold any solid evidence to support the claim that dela Rosa is, in fact, human.” The severe lack of information also fails to supplement allegations that insist Bato acquired his nickname due to his “craggy” characteristics. 

Further studies on his identity show that because of the senator’s unidentified rock classification and unique rock behavior, it is believed that Bato could be the first of his kind. TIGAS admits that the foregoing claims require further investigation in order to solidify their theory. Moreover, the institution firmly believes that the answers to this question can not only benefit the field of geology, but also further the progress of scientific research in the country. Suggesting a similar topic to pursue once dela Rosa’s rock identity is established, Sadagat puts forward, “We could work with marine scientists to investigate Davao City Mayor Sara Duterte’s grandson, Marko Digong ‘Stonefish’ Duterte-Carpio. Is he a stone, a fish, or a hybrid?”