For many DLSU students, the opportunity to join a student organization is always an exciting experience. Bright-eyed and full of vigor, Lasallians eagerly join the University’s various student organizations in hopes of finding new experiences, friends, and maybe even—dare we say—”the one”. But if you ask any senior member of those student organizations, they’ll likely tell you the same thing, accompanied by piercingly judgmental eyes: “Never date your orgmate.”

It has become a well-known fact that dating your orgmate is a big “no-no”. There’s simply too many things that could go wrong. For one, your org work could get affected; if you break up, things could get messy—and let’s not forget to mention how unprofessional it is. Still, this hasn’t stopped couples like Jhemerlyn* (III, BFA-TT) and Donjovi* (III, LIM-CW) from falling for each other.

All too often, these “orgcest” couples are forced to conceal their love for one another, which—as we’ll see with Jhemerlyn and Donjovi—leaves them in a precarious position, balancing between keeping their love alive and keeping their place in the organization.

Not-just-summer love

It was just a normal day for Jhemerlyn. Preparing herself for school, she got out of bed and put her hair into a messy bun. “That time I thought, ‘Ugh, I look so quirky right now’ kasi I’m not like the other girls, ‘di ba?” She slipped into an oversized sweater, threw on her glasses, and ventured to DLSU with her iced coffee in one hand and a pile of envelopes in the other.

She couldn’t afford to be late; her organization’s pre-activity requirements needed to be signed by the Office of Student Leadership, Involvement, Formation, and Empowerment as soon as possible. But as she rushed into the University’s South Gate, she bumped into a fellow student in the hallways. Papers flew out of her hands as she stumbled to the ground. “I remember being so irritated by what happened because, like, everything flew out,” Jhemerlyn divulges. It was Donjovi.

But there was something about Jhemerlyn that compelled Donjovi to help her. “I remember, like, he helped me out of nowhere and he talked about our [organization’s logo] on the pre-acts,” the former shares, noting the caramel flavored juul-stenched leather jacket and mop of curly brown hair he sported that day. Donjovi said they were part of the same organization. And while she remembered the sacred rule, she couldn’t help it, “His outfit was cute and I was drawn into his chocolate brown orbs. When we touched hands when we picked up the same paper, sabi ko, ‘[Redacted], bawal ako ma-fall [sa kanya].’”

(I said, “[Redacted], I can’t fall for him.”)

Baby, we’re fireproof

It wasn’t long before Jhemerlyn and Donjovi found themselves drawn into each other. It was inevitable, really, given how much they had in common, especially in music. “I noticed Jhemerlyn was listening to Fireproof one time,” Donjovi shares. “I didn’t know she was a fan of One Direction, too.”

Their class schedules were also conveniently in sync, which allowed them to visit their organization’s office together for residency hours. Donjovi would even wait outside Jhemerlyn’s classroom sometimes—carrying two cups of iced coffee in hand. Their friendship would soon blossom into romance; for Jhermerlyn, it all just felt right.

Eventually, Jhemerlyn became brave enough to confront the realities of their circumstances. “At the back of my mind, there was this voice that told me I was a bad example,” she reflects. “Think of the newbies!”

She knew all too well the discrimination that orgcest couples face. “Sinabihan ko siya (Donjovi) na kailangan namin mag-ingat,” she tearfully reminisces, remembering how Donjovi went down on his knees after what she said. “Kasi people around here…they don’t exactly approve of our kind of love,” she reiterates.

(I keep telling him that we should always be careful.)

They reveal that the organization’s strict no-dating-your-orgmate policy carries harsh punishments for any co-orgmates caught dating. This includes a one-month suspension, being put on a probationary period for up to two terms, or even being blacklisted from their organization. The Student Discipline Formation Office even withholds the certificate of good moral character of those found to be in violation of these policies.

To dispel any suspicion, the pair have agreed that they should never be seen alone together in public and would even go so far as to have one of their friends who secretly supports their relationship accompany them as a third wheel. They also prepare elaborate lies to help cover up the truth whenever they are confronted about their relationship. “We told them we were both doing our internship at the same company,” Jhemerlyn discloses. “But we didn’t mention which one in case members of the Mari-Union might be doing their internship there, too.”

Nevertheless, Donjovi remains steadfast in his love for Jhemerlyn. “Sabi ko kay Jhemerlyn, ‘Babe, it doesn’t matter how many orgs try to keep us apart because that’s all they can do—try. And no matter how hard they try, they’ll never be able to stop me from loving you,’” Donjovi voices out.

They don’t know about us

Keeping their romance secret was no easy task for Jhemerlyn and Donjovi. With the potential consequences of their relationship constantly hovering abreast, Jhemerlyn would be lying if she said Donjovi had no complaints.

“Si Donjovi, you know, he’s the sweetest guy. He’s the type to be loud with his love. So all this [hiding] has been really hard for him,” Jhemerlyn shares. “Sabi niya sa akin, ‘People say we shouldn’t be together—too young to know about forever…But I bet you, if they only knew, they would just be jealous of us (Just be jealous of us).’” On days like these, Jhemerlyn would feel the pain of hiding their love from the world.

But there was nothing they couldn’t overcome. Jhemerlyn knew that with time, they could build endurance and the strength to face whatever life may throw at them. There was something so romantic about the relentless push-and-pull of their illicit affair anyway. “I always knew how to make pa-ease Donjovi’s frustrations,” Jhemerlyn shares. “I would look at his eyes and say, ‘Donjovi–this isn’t you.’”

Sure, a Mari-Union member might expose them in DLSU Freedom Wall, but Jhemerlyn is positive that times would eventually change. Perhaps one day, their love could freely extend to the public sphere—free from their organization’s hawkish eyes.

*Names in asterisk (*) are pseudonyms