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  • Tikas out, stunna in: Lasallian geng gengs hustle through discrimination

    Hanasherie
    April 1, 2026

    They strove their way through hate, ridicule, and classism. Now, DLSU’s young stunnas finally tell their own story.

  • Spike-spike sa langit: Luis Pablo trades in the hardwood for the Taraflex

    Spike-spike sa langit: Luis Pablo trades in the hardwood for the Taraflex

    Local Balls
    March 31, 2026
  • Axiom 67: Our totally scientific and Nobel Prize-winning equation describing the Universal Aura Constant

    Axiom 67: Our totally scientific and Nobel Prize-winning equation describing the Universal Aura Constant

    Nota Bene
    March 31, 2026
  • Dabao Legacy: The courtside queen extends reign until UAAP S100

    Dabao Legacy: The courtside queen extends reign until UAAP S100

    Local Balls
    April 1, 2025
  • Can’t put your phone down? Hear from a researcher on how to beat social media addiction

    Can’t put your phone down? Hear from a researcher on how to beat social media addiction

    Gusto ko ang nota mo
    April 1, 2025
  • How many ‘Sobrang Latina’ remarks are you from getting recolonized?

    How many ‘Sobrang Latina’ remarks are you from getting recolonized?

    Lengua-heh?, OA posting
    April 1, 2025

BALITANG INA

  • The united knot: Breakup so bad it legalized divorce
    National Situationer

    The united knot: Breakup so bad it legalized divorce

    Following SaBong’s 2024 split, divorce had no choice to be legalized. However, that never stopped them from exposing their deepest, darkest secrets.

  • Controversial 4.4-percent tuition bump to finance school livery
    Share ko Langkizkiz, Universitea

    Controversial 4.4-percent tuition bump to finance school livery

    Tuition hikes fund DLSU’s Uniqlo uniforms as a plan to reinstate a dress code, ensuring all Lasallians dress in neutral-toned unity.

  • DLSU institutionalizes IdeRunkmaxxing
    Mews Feetshore, Universitea

    DLSU institutionalizes IdeRunkmaxxing

    DLSU mandates backlinks, TikToks, and Wikipedia spam in a bold bid to finally beat the University of the Philippines in IdeRunk.

  • From pizza delivery to political loyalty? A senator’s act of service sparks political love team rumors anew
    NatSeated

    From pizza delivery to political loyalty? A senator’s act of service sparks political love team rumors anew

    A pizza delivery symbolizing undying devotion—Sen. Sol’s viral act of loyalty to Dutart fuels ‘SolMate’ love team rumors once again.

Ijbolerie

  • How do I make this about myself?
    Plunge

    How do I make this about myself?

    Defying Manila heat in a quarter-zip and a canvas tote in tow, they clutch a matcha latte in one hand and feminist literature on the other with practiced ease. “Ako lang ba ‘yung esoteric indie…

  • Hanasherie

    Tikas out, stunna in: Lasallian geng gengs hustle through discrimination

    They strove their way through hate, ridicule, and classism. Now, DLSU’s young stunnas finally tell their own story.

  • How many ‘Sobrang Latina’ remarks are you from getting recolonized?
    Lengua-heh?, OA posting

    How many ‘Sobrang Latina’ remarks are you from getting recolonized?

    With the “sobrang Latina” expression in, “chinita” is nowhere to be found—much like our connection to our colonial roots.

  • So init naman in Taft! Lasallians air(con) out their summer woes
    Lengua-heh?, OA posting

    So init naman in Taft! Lasallians air(con) out their summer woes

    Everyone should just take a chill pill, honestly. That’s how we feel lang at least, kasi everyone’s becoming sobrang OA na these days!

BALLS

  • Spike-spike sa langit: Luis Pablo trades in the hardwood for the Taraflex
    Local Balls

    Spike-spike sa langit: Luis Pablo trades in the hardwood for the Taraflex

    Luis Pablo’s bold transition proves that even elite athletes aren’t immune to starting over.

  • Dabao Legacy: The courtside queen extends reign until UAAP S100
    Local Balls

    Dabao Legacy: The courtside queen extends reign until UAAP S100

    Patrice Dabao establishes her extremely long future as the UAAP correspondent for DLSU.

  • F1: Zooming in high speed around the streets of Manila
    Local Balls

    F1: Zooming in high speed around the streets of Manila

    With its popularity rapidly rising, Formula One looks to delve into the Philippine market with a soon-to-be messy race along EDSA.

  • DLSU’s Chinito Walkers unveils plans to host the first-ever Lasallian Walkathon
    More Balls, Shookt

    DLSU’s Chinito Walkers unveils plans to host the first-ever Lasallian Walkathon

    The famed TikTok trio organizes a highly anticipated walking competition with fun challenges, tae counters, and prizes along the way.

VANGYAT

  • Can’t put your phone down? Hear from a researcher on how to beat social media addiction
    Gusto ko ang nota mo

    Can’t put your phone down? Hear from a researcher on how to beat social media addiction

    Social media addiction fuels procrastination and unrealistic expectations, so an esteemed researcher offers a creative guide to break the cycle.

  • Plop down and lock in with DLSU’s newly revamped beanbags
    Booming Systems

    Plop down and lock in with DLSU’s newly revamped beanbags

    Revamped beanbags at Goks features enhanced comfort, mood-sensing colors, and cleaner amenities for a more focused and pleasant-smelling study time.

  • Stuck waiting at Br. Andrew? DLSU suggests better queuing system, not more elevators
    Gusto ko ang nota mo

    Stuck waiting at Br. Andrew? DLSU suggests better queuing system, not more elevators

    Take a magical ride to the new queuing system and an incentivized stair climbing program to ease the burden of long elevator lines at Br. Andrew.

  • Sub-zero temperatures at Henry Sy Sr. Hall causes hypothermia epidemic and student exodus
    Gusto ko ang nota mo, Nota Bene

    Sub-zero temperatures at Henry Sy Sr. Hall causes hypothermia epidemic and student exodus

    To shield Lasallians from the heat, DLSU casts a freezing spell in the Learning Commons. Even with the coolness, studying seems to be in a freeze too.

Yappathon

  • The messed-up things I learned after staying in DLSU for four years

    The messed-up things I learned after staying in DLSU for four years

    It is extremely hard to cope with what life throws at you. It does not help when your place of learning does not help at all.

  • To my glorious king, rex splode

    To my glorious king, rex splode

    My profound love for Rex Splode from Invincible knows no boundaries; I even have his face on my bed sheets and pillow covers.

  • Poking is not just a hobby, it’s a lifestyle

    Poking is not just a hobby, it’s a lifestyle

    As Facebook poking returns, efforts must be made to solidify its presence and impart its essence to society—ensuring that it endures this time around.

  • My concert addiction

    My concert addiction

    Nothing beats the crowd and hype of K-pop concerts. With a lightstick in hand, memorizing the fan chants and seeing the idols brings the experience to a whole new level.


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The LuhSallian is REAL NEWS by REAL JOURNALISTS…or is it? 

Just in case you mistook unfettered fiction for fact, please take note this website is purely for our yearly spoof issue—all the content is satire. If you understand what that is, we offer you our sincerest congratulations. Our spoofs are known to sometimes come true.

Find the legit stuff at thelasallian.com.

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The LuhSallian