Commentary: The perfect prexy does exist

A man with 38 degrees and son of the national-villain-turned-hero, how can sweet Bongbong ever do wrong? Oh, we don’t deserve the Marcoses!

Consider, for a moment, the burden of omnipotence. Imagine the boundless power and authority—the ability to shape reality. The pressure! It must be better to do nothing at all, right? One might accidentally, you know, do something right. 

No other than the late national villain-suddenly-turned-hero’s son Ferdinand Marcos Jr. displays this prudence. Certainly, the scion of the man who ushered in the mythical golden age of the Philippines with his power of delusion could do nothing wrong. From the white-powder-perfect infant that he was to the white-powder prefect that he has become, Marcos Jr. is addicted to perfection.

Among the key promises and battlecries that launched the brilliant boy into the top post of government was his vow of unity across the country, just like how his father sparked the unity of about a million-strong Filipinos along EDSA. Under his helm, a coalition between the primary families of Arroyo, Marcos, and Duterte was forged—and subsequently dissolved.

This was not Marcos Jr.’s fault, though. To lay blame on the clueless child is the height of folly! If Pampanga’s Second District Representative Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo weren’t greedy for power, then we would not see the cracks (not cocaine) forming in the coalition. 

In the background of this all too was the unraveling of the insanity of former President Rodrigo Duterte, who in his inebriety, took it out on the poor Marcos Jr. Blame not the incumbent! It is not his responsibility to control the mad dog within his predecessor. That is the responsibility of the former president’s nurses who might have not given him enough fentanyl on time.

The duty the president carries to represent the nation is a heavy burden no ordinary Filipino could ever dream of shouldering. The physical toll of 22 international travels in 20 months of being in office must be unimaginably strainful, especially after experiencing the “flu-like” symptoms following his most recent trips. Earning degrees—38, in fact, even if awarded to him only by a thermometer—is no easy feat and demands a lot of effort. Now, no one can claim that he is a person with no degree.

What’s more, Marcos Jr. faces his problems head-on, every morning in the bathroom mirror and every evening in family video calls. Imagine also facing world leaders after the scandals that marred his family’s reputation worldwide. Surely, he deserves roaring applause for his bravery. 

And perhaps Marcos Jr. was on our side of history as well. He might not have been in EDSA—he was running away with his tail between his legs, but that’s not important—though one can imagine him there clandestinely plotting against his father. Just like the rest of us, he was a headache to the dictator, too. 

It is to this end that we should stop comparing the son to the father. Unlike his dad, who called for Martial Law with the same cadence as you would if you ordered take-out, Marcos Jr. couldn’t even declare himself drug-free without sounding like a puppy trying to lie itself out of punishment for chewing on a pair from mommy’s 3000 shoe collection.

In his capacity as the president, the father controlled sugar production in the country which led to a region-wide famine. What did the son do when faced with another sugar-related crisis, especially after naming himself the agriculture chief? Well, you’d be happy to know he did nothing. In fact, he was so committed to overseeing the problem that he managed to overlook it multiple times. Masterful gambit, sir.

We have full trust that Marcos Jr. can weed out the problems of the Philippines. If there’s someone who handles weed well, it is only him that we can think of. While people might deny it, Marcos Jr. is a hero…in addict. So, we implore the public to stop hating Marcos Jr. because he doesn’t deserve all this (presidency). And we don’t deserve him and his family.

In the grand scheme of things, perhaps Marcos serves a greater purpose—to remind us of our own fallibility, our own inabilities. That out there, there is always going to be someone worse than us.

The president did nothing wrong uWu

This article was published in The LaSallian‘s Spoof 2024 issue. To read more, visit