Boy oh boy where do I even begin? Rex… honey, my pookie bear, my everything😖😖😖…
I remember watching Invincible.2021.S01E01.1080P.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb9.mkv for the first time on my tablet, and when I saw you on the screen, my eyes were beholden with such beauty🥰🥰🥰🥰. The way you use your powers to blow stuff up brings colors to my life😍😍😍.
The way you laughed at Monster Girl made me laugh as well🤣🤣🤣 she definitely is below the age requirement, she shouldn’t even be allowed to join the Guardians of the Globe🤣🤣🤣🤣 but when she made fun of you and beat you up through her monster form 👹👹👹 it MADE ME SO, SO ANGRY GRRRRR🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 But luckily, you guys apologized to each other, so I won’t have to hurt her🤗🤗🤗
After watching that episode😍😍😍 I just… I just… Fell in love with you,,, y’know… *blushes* hihihi🥺🥺🥺. I went to Shopee after that and bought a queen-size blanket with your face on it so that every time I sleep, I know I’m with my pookie bear, my majesty😘😘😘 I also bought pillow covers and on it is a printed copy of you doing a kissing face—I photoshopped it when you and Shrinking Rae kissed (THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!!!🤬🤬🤬🤬)—so every time I’m asleep on top of my pillow, I know that I’m safe because my goat, my king, my everything, is kissing me🤭🤭🤭🤭 *tingles.*
My day is complete whenever I see you, my pookie bear🥰🥰🥰. I even have posters of you plastered on each wall of my room😘😘😘😘😘😘. I go to class thinking about you… the fun and flowery things that we could do😍😍😍 instead of DOING THESE DAMN PAPERS GRRR ARRRGGH!!😡😡😡😡 I should’ve become a superhero too instead and drop out of college😢😢😢.
I remember taking my LCASEAN exams, and all that I answered in my essay was, “I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍. I love you, Rex Splode😍.”
It felt like complete euphoria🥹🥹🥹🥹🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨. Even though my professor failed me in that class, I still don’t regret it🥰🥰🥰.
However, when I watched Invincible.2021.S03E07.1080P.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb9.mkv while eating😰😰😰😰. My heart fell💔…my world shattered💔…my everything gone💔…When you said, “MY ENTIRE [EXPLETIVE] SKELETON, [EXPLETIVE]🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣” and sacrificed yourself… I dropped my spoon and stared into oblivion…Not accepting that you…*sobs*….that you… that you just died….😭😭😭 and when Billie Eilish’s when the party’s over played… my heart sunk💔…knowing that you will not be revived by anyone, not even your ex Atom Eve nor Cecil….😭😭😭😭 That’s when I realized too, that my life is over…💔
Today, I still cope with your loss😢😢😢, playing the Royalty remix of Trap Queen by Fetty Wap just to feel something… but it’s not enough… It hurts to think of you…my love for you…The DLSU Counseling and Psychological Services told me to move on and that you’re “just a fictional character.” I said to them, “No, he’s not just a fictional character. He’s my pookie bear, he’s my honeybunch sugar plum pumpy-umpy-umpkin, he’s my sweetie pie, he’s my cuppycake gumdrop snoogums-boogums, he’s the apple of my eye.”
Then I continued, “And most important of all, he’s my glorious king, Rex Splode❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥”
This article was published in The LaSallian‘s Spoof 2025 issue. To read more, visit bit.ly/TLSSpoof2025.